Today, for the first time in six years, I am alone on Valentine’s Day.
I have always loved February 14th. But now, it’s just a big slap in the face for me. The world is reminding me once again that my husband is no longer with me.
Brady never loved Valentine’s Day the way that I have, but he always made me feel appreciated on this day. He either gave me flowers, wrote me poems, or got me some of my favorite snacks. I never cared about what he did for me; I felt loved regardless.
Today, I don’t miss the cards or the flowers. I miss having a person who adored me, exclusively. I miss the bond that true love gives. I miss being loved.
I believe the hardest part about being a widow is that when your spouse dies, you lose the person who loved you most. Obviously, I love Brady more than anyone else on this earth. On this day, I’m reminded that I not only lost the person whom I love most, but who loved me most. It’s a loss that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
I still love Brady with all that I am. I still view him as my valentine. While I can’t give him food, hugs, or kisses today, I will still show him I love him. In his last days, he asked me to try to spend the rest of my life being happy. All he wanted was for me to be happy.
So on this sad and lonely day, I will choose gratitude over bitterness. I will choose to smile even when my eyes are filled with tears. I will choose to be thankful knowing that I have been truly loved by the most incredible man. I will choose happiness today because I know that is how I can love Brady best.
You experienced something that many never know in a long, long life. In all the occasions that occur I pray you find comfort in having shared that with Brady.