Today is Saturday, July 20. The last time that this date fell on a Saturday was on my wedding day in 2019. My wedding day was five years ago. Five years. Five years seems like such a long and significant block of time. I don’t know how the years have passed by so quickly. If […]
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New Life, Same Grief
It’s now been four years since Brady died. A lot can change in four years, and a lot of things in my life have changed in the past four years. Since 2019, I graduated from college, established new lifelong friendships, joined a Christian music ministry, tried dating again, chose love again, got married again, moved […]
When Everything Changes
2019 was a year of change for me. It was a year of milestones, a year of love, and a year of loss. It was the year I got engaged, the year I graduated high school, the year I got married, the year I started college, and the year I became a widow. Every single […]
Dating Again
I am dating again. After almost three years since Brady died, I am now in my first romantic relationship as a widow. I did not plan to enter the dating scene when I did. I was not on any dating apps and wasn’t actively seeking out a relationship. But when a guy asked me out […]
Holding My Breath
“I absolutely love my life right now! I feel like God is filling my life up with so many blessings, and I am so grateful! Cherishing this season as long as it lasts.” I remember the moment I wrote those words in June of 2019. My life really was so wonderful. I was getting ready […]
Always Choose to Love
Today, I celebrate what would have been my third wedding anniversary. On July 20th, 2019, Brady and I stood before our closest friends and family and vowed a lifetime of love to one another. Neither one of us believed that our marriage would end just four months later, on November 25th, when Brady died of […]
When Nightmares Come True
Some days it’s hard to get out of bed. The weight of this world and the burdens of my grief cover me like a weighted blanket and I struggle to find the strength to rise. Today is one of those days. Four years ago, on March 9th in 2018, my worst nightmare became a reality: […]
The Gift of Love
My heart is heavy today. As the rest of the world rejoices with loved ones on this romantic holiday, I find myself paralyzed by grief. My body aches and my focus is stuck on the February of 2019. For Valentine’s Day three years ago, Brady gave me a mason jar filled with small pieces of […]
Grateful for the Grief
Two years ago, Brady departed this world on the morning of November 25th. It was the Monday before Thanksgiving, so three days after sending my husband’s dead body off with the funeral director, I had to sit around a dinner table and celebrate the holiday of gratitude. It seems too cruel and too terrible that […]
A Weary Widow
Grieving—the process of coping with immense loss—looks different to everyone and will change at various points in the grieving process. Recently, grief has presented itself to me in a disguise of fatigue. No matter how much rest I get, I cannot dodge the wave of exhaustion that sweeps over me. Although my mind is constantly […]