I’ve experienced so much growth and joy in the past few days.
The Lord is so good to me. He has guided me to some remarkable friends that are on fire for Jesus as much as I am. I have so many stories I could share…there are so many ways God has moved to change my heart in this last week.
I’m honestly in awe.
I truly believed that I would dwell in brokenness and sorrow until Jesus called me home. But, the resurrection power of the Holy Spirit has penetrated in and through my soul. It’s almost as if the hole that grief caused is now filled with a divine desire to worship, praise, and serve the Lord. I have experienced so much loss, but I only have prayers of thanksgiving and gratitude.
I feel that my current state is a true example of 2 Corinthians 12:10, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Since my husband’s death, countless people have told me how strong I am. I realize now more than ever that I am truly weak on my own. But, since Jesus’s holy power resides in me, I have the strength of the resurrection. The same power that raised Jesus from the grave is within me! How incredible! Praise the Lord!
To clarify, I am definitely still grieving the loss of Brady. I always will be. But, this grief is no longer causing bitterness, anger, or depression. The pain is allowing me to be completely united with Jesus; the pain is causing my faith grow stronger than I ever thought possible.
Years ago, before Brady was even diagnosed with cancer, I prayed that the Lord would lead me down a journey filled with trials so that my faith would be strengthened. God has answered my prayer, but not as I expected. God has taken me on a voyage filled with heartache, and now I feel that my soul is being shaped by the Spirit. He has made me new once again.
The Lord has filled my heart with hope, with joy! I never thought I would experience such a restoration on this earth (especially this quickly). Yet, here I am. I am a living testimony that the Lord completely restores those who love Him.
This joy that I have because of my Savior is the very thing that Brady prayed for before he died. He prayed that I would be able to smile again, laugh again, and be genuinely satisfied with the life I live. His prayer is just starting to be answered. Truly, I say, the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
Photo: Wild Native Photography