Widow at 19

Four years ago today, my beloved Brady celebrated an end to months of chemotherapy by ringing the end-of-treatment bell. On the ninth floor of Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh, he rang the bell signaling an end to having drugs pumped through his body, and it marked a beginning to a healthier and cancer-free life. I remember […]

I don’t know if this is just me and my inability to adapt to the weather, but I think it’s been so incredibly freezing lately. My fingers become numb on the walk to class each morning in the frozen tundra of Pennsylvania. When I arrive home every evening, I crank up the heat and impatiently […]

One year ago today, I was at Kalahari Resort in Sandusky with my family and I spent the day reflecting on the past year. I realized that 2019 had been my best year yet. In that year, I got engaged, graduated high school, married the love of my life, and started college. 2019 was also […]

Last Christmas, in 2019, was the first Christmas I spent without my husband. It was also just 30 days after he died in front of me. That entire month of December may have been the most depressing one in my entire life, and I was in no mood to celebrate Christmas. Christmas was Brady’s favorite […]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog on this site. Even though I haven’t publicly posted for months, I have still been processing so many of my thoughts and feelings as I’ve continued to grieve my husband’s death. Attending college this fall (in person) has given me the privilege of processing these emotions […]

A storm came through Grove City a couple of weeks ago, and when I left work to go home that day, I was expecting to walk out into a downpour. To my surprise, the rain had lightened up and the sun began to peek through the dark gray clouds. When I got outside, the sun […]

In my short life as a widow, countless people have asked me how they can support me in this long, heartbreaking season. There is no formula or equation for being a supportive friend to someone who is going through life’s greatest tragedies, but I will share some of the best things people have done for […]

The seventh month of the year has brought me so much joy in my time on this earth. The very best days and weeks of my life have occurred in this summer month, and I can’t help but reflect on their memories this July. In 2018, I traveled to South Africa to attend the Global […]

Most people are ashamed or regretful about the worst parts of their lives. A broke person won’t brag about their $100,000 of debt. A drug addict doesn’t want to mention their addiction. An adulterous man doesn’t want to explain why his ex-wife divorced him. Being widowed at the young age of 19 has been the […]

I hate cancer. I don’t hate much in this world, but I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. My husband died of Ewing Sarcoma (bone cancer), and I saw how the disease betrayed him and deteriorated his body without Brady’s permission. From the nausea to the back pain to the numbing of his […]