Pink Nail Polish

For my wedding day back in July, I decided to wear pink nail polish. I got pink gel polish for my fingernails, and I just used “normal” pink nail polish for my toes.

I got both sets of nails done at a salon on July 19th, the day before my wedding. My gel polish lasted perfectly throughout my wedding day, and they stayed on for my honeymoon too! Then, I got annoyed with them and picked off the gel polish from my fingernails.

The pink nail polish on my toes lasted even longer. Today, I still have one speck of pink on my big toe on my left foot. I wrote a blog post last week called “Grief Is Complicated.” And gosh, grief is SO weird and confusing. I never thought I’d be sobbing about the nail polish coming off my toes, but here I am.

This nail polish accompanied me on our trips and vacations to Maui, Wyoming, and Niagara Falls. This color was with us while Brady and I moved into our new home together. This polish was with us when we heard that there were no options of treatment left for Brady.

This little speck of pink color on my toenail has literally lasted longer than my marriage. This speck of color was there the day Brady spoke his vows, and this speck was there the day he took his last breath.

Losing this pink color on my big toe probably sounds like no big deal to most of you, and you probably think I’m crazy for not removing it myself after six months. But, seeing the color on my nails reminds me that the happiest times of my life were so recent. And, now I realize that I am entering into a new chapter of my life where Brady (and my pretty pink nails) won’t be present.

I wish I could stop time and stay in these moments where Brady’s presence is so fresh in my memory. But, the world keeps spinning and time somehow keeps ticking whether I like it or not.

Photo: Anna Laero Photography